Cake in a cup

I think I've said it before but I'll say it again: I'm against cupcakes.  They're too cutesy and trendy.

Today I perfected a recipe for a single-serve cake in a cup-- NOT a cupcake.  This was one of those microwave-in-a-mug cake recipes that are bountiful on the interweb, but it was the first time I made one that was satisfactory to me.  The ones I made in the past were too spongy, not well-baked or well-mixed.  I tweaked the recipe from Instructables.com to suit my taste and my microwave (1250W).

Ingredients:
The dry
scant 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon of dark brown sugar
2.5 tablespoons granulated white sugar
1 heaping tablespoon of cocoa powder
The wet
3 tablespoons milk (any kind)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil or melted unsalted butter(*preferrable)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Optional, but highly encouraged
one heaping tablespoon of chocolate chips, preferrably the small kind for mixing in pancake/waffle batter

Directions:
1. In a big microwave-safe mug, combine dry ingredients until homogenous
2. Push the ingredients to the bottom and the sides to form a well
3. Pour the wet ingredients into the well
4. Stir a few times to get it mostly combined
5. Add chocolate chips and stir a little more until everything looks combined--don't overmix!
6. Place mug in the microwave, set it to medium-high heat for 132 seconds.
7. Wait 15 seconds to let it cool down, then dig in straight from the mug! If you so desire, you can gently go around the edge with a spoon to coax the cake out and then turn it over on a plate and drizzle some chocolate syrup or accompany the cakelet with some vanilla ice cream.


This will never taste like an ordinary cake, made the conventional way in a conventional oven.  It will have a spongy texture.  But by adding a combination of brown and white sugars and not adding an egg, the cake has a fudgier taste and texture, and therefore is much more satisfying for me.

original Instructables recipe

Reverse wish list

This is my wish list of things that I would like to give to some of my family and friends this year:

- The Body Back Buddy



image source

To me this looks like a Seussian cane or a blue plastic tapeworm with goiters.  It's received many positive reviews on Amazon and I hope the recipient of this gift will find it useful at working out knots and sore muscles.
- Blue Man Group tickets

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I've seen the show twice at the same location but I wouldn't mind going a third time if it's with someone who's never gone before.  Even though they do the same things, it's a different audience every time and the experience can be enhanced depending on seating and the person(s) I'm with for the show.

- Scarves/pashminas

Can't go wrong with this gift.  Scarves are practical, fashionable, and not terribly expensive-- especially if you knit one yourself.  Ah, if only I could knit faster and more consistently.

- Head lamp

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I think that gifts should be useful and something that the recipient wouldn't think to buy for her/himself.  A head lamp falls under this category: unless you're a hiker or a spelunker (God, I love that word!) you might not think to buy one of these.  It's easier to just buy a plain ol' flashlight.  A head lamp is just a nice thing to have, an unnecessarily convenience.

- Cookies

image & recipe source

 I'm going to try to make these green tea shortbread cookies this year.  I've never made them but they look so nice and festive and the recipe isn't anything complicated or demanding.

Recipe: Hagrid's rock cakes

I deliberately didn't follow the directions for the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I made yesterday.  The dough ended up very dry, and when I pulled the cookies out of the oven I instantly thought "Hagrid's rock cakes."  In the Harry Potter book series the gamekeeper Hagrid makes notoriously inedible food-- I think that Ron almost chips his tooth trying to eat a scone.  The cookies I made ended up much softer than they look, but they're still really ugly and I suspect that as they get more stale they will really live up to their namesake.  It's all the oats that make the cookies look very hostile and suspicious, but also the oats are soft and add a lot of nutrional content.

Ingredients:
8      tablespoons (one stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2   cup dark brown sugar, packed
1      large egg
1/4   cup milk ( I used soy)
1      teaspoon vanilla extract
1      small jar of pureed vegetable baby food (I used green pea puree)

1.25cups+1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1        teaspoon baking soda
1        teaspoon salt
1        teaspoon ground cinnamon
3        cups oat (the quick start kind, I think)
1        cup of chocolate chips (can subsitute with raisins or dried cranberries)

Prep work (useful but not necessarily)
- whisk together the egg, milk, and vanilla extract
- sift together 1.25 cups of flour, the baking soda, salt, and cinnamon
- sprinkle 1 tablespoon flour on the chocolate chips and stir (this helps to combine the chips with the batter, to keep it from all sinking to the bottom)
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line cookie sheets with parchment paper (aluminum foil is okay)
1.  Use a wooden spoon to smoosh the butter so that it's uniformly smooth and creamy-looking
2.  Add sugar and stir until uniformly mixed in.
3.  Add egg, milk, vanilla extract mixture slowly, while stirring
4.  Add vegetable puree
5.  Gradually add flour mixture; stir
6.  Gradually add oats
7.  Add chocolate chips, stop stiring when everything looks well-combined
8.  Drop heaping tablespoons of dough onto the cookie sheets, press down to flatten out the dough ball and leave about an inch between the scoops of dough.  Cookies won't puff up too much.
9.  Bake for 12 minutes or until the cookies are golden-brown on the outside.  Let cool at least 5 minutes before consuming. 

Baking: At What Cost?

I made sticky buns today, and now the whole kitchen is wafting with the scent of cinnamon and slightly-burned sugar.  Smells like heaven, I imagine.  But it took a lot of work to make those baked goods.

What was all the fuss, you ask?  Well, I've made sticky buns on several occasions and each time I use slightly different recipes and tweak them, and I make them from scratch.  That's a lot of work and time:
1) Make the dough
2) Knead slightly
3) Let it rise for an hour
4) Knead again
5) Roll out
6) Dot with butter
7) Sprinkle sugar, cinnamon, and pecan mixture
8) Roll it up tight
9) Cut it up
[10) Fridge it overnight]
Time so far: 1 hour 20 minutes
11) Take the buns out and let them rise again for an hour
12) In the meantime make the goo that differentiates the buns from regular cinnamon buns (or make this during the hour in step 3)
13) Spread cooled goo in pans
14) Place buns in pans
15) Bake it for 30-40 min
16) Let cool for 20 min
17) Eat, finally
Total time from start to eat: 3 hours 10 minutes, plus 6-8 hours depending on how long you sleep overnight

Worth all the trouble? Yes, but this is not something to make and eat on a regular basis.  Makes an ordinary breakfast extraordinary, and a great treat for a special day.  I think I've finally perfected what recipe works for me, so unless I feel sadistic I don't have to try another version of it.  Delicious, yes, but it's going to be a while before I muster up the time, energy, and excuse to make them again.

If the world were an enormous nudist colony...

I've never visited a clothing-optional beach, nor have I ever been to a nudist colony/community.  I'd just like to take this time to consider what it would be like if everyone in the entire world were made to not wear clothing.  Before I continue I want to acknowledge the obvious and/or silly problems with this scenario:
1) it's not warm enough everywhere to merit going about without clothing.
2) it's not practical/sanitary to go about without clothing, especially when performing certain tasks such as operating machinery or cooking/baking or jogging, etc.
3) you can't make everyone go clothesless.  And Fashion Industry Is Powerful.

Having gotten those three broad categories of concern out of the way, here are some of the hypothetical beneefits of my aforementioned scenario:
1) there would be less sexual harassment and rape (the reasoning behind this is that, in many instances, rapists claim that the person/people they raped were "asking for it" due to the way s/he dressed)
2) pornography, as commonly defined today, wouldn't exist
3) there would be more body acceptance and acknowledgement of what the human anatomy looks like without any non-surgical enhancement
4) the world would be more conscious/concerned about cleanliness
5) you get the point?

This is where I would try to make some transition into the argument for letting women walk around topless, just as men are allowed to walk about in public without shirts on.  But that is a topic for another day.  And this topic would easily transition to the tangentially related issue of bras; alas, a subject for yet another separate post.

My fantasy cookie shop

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If I were to have my own bakery, this is what the menu would look like:

Cookies
Apple cheddar (applesauce cookie w/ shredded cheddar on top)
Carrot cake sandwich (with cream cheese filling)
Chocolate chip (original; doughy and nutty)
Orange chocolate chip (puffy and fragrant)
Oatmeal chocolate chip (crunchy and dense)
Pecan butter (like a peanut butter cookie, with with pecan butter, and a pecan half on top)
Peanut butter (classic)
Russian tea /Mexican wedding cake (aka snowballs because they're coated with powdered sugar)
Shortbread sugar (like a regular sugar cookie, but more buttery)
Citrus Sugar (regular sugar cookie with a hint of lemon or lime, I can't decide which)
Ugly (my own combination of a compost cookie and one of the Sneaky Chef cookie.  Includes chocolate chips, shredded carrot, potato chips, dried cranberries, pecans, oatmeal and pureed zucchini.)

Bars
Brownies (original)
Brownies (spicy)
Conga bar
Lemon bar

Pastries
Eclair (original)
Eclair (inside-out)

Sandwiches
Fried cheese sandwich
Tomato and mayo sandwich (only during summer)

Eh, the rest is a work in progress. I'd like to put up a vegan and gluten-free list, as well as an experimental/try-outs list that I'd put up to test new cookies or recipes and decide if they're good enough to become regular options.

One thing: I refuse to sell cupcakes.  I'll sell cakes in small and large sizes, but no cupcakes-- or cake pops for that matter.  I like pie, but I think it'd be too much to make it on top of all the other offerings.  Above all, I want to be known for my cookies, which is why that list is so extensive. I've only actually made about half of the items on this menu.  I'd like to try to, though, someday.

I Heart Carbs



image source

 http://www.nataliedee.com/
Twice or thrice I've given up bread for Lent (going with the whole "man does not live on bread alone" thing).  I allowed myself crackers, pita wraps and lavash rolls; I disallowed anything else leavened, in the Jewish Passover sense.  On top of this I am vegetarian, and what got me the most was having to give up pizza and sandwiches.  But I survived.

Today I visited my local megamarket and I feel like I melted as I approached the bakery section and got a whiff of some of the paper bagged-breads.  Oh, carbohydratey goodness!  Why did I ever forsake thee?  The smell of baked goods is more tantalizing to me than any other food; it's a scent of home, of safety, of warmth and love.  If I had to choose between cooking and baking I'd choose the latter, not because I'm better at baking but that it evokes in me a greater sense of heartiness and, well, magic.  When cooking on a stove the food changes right before my eyes, but when it comes to baking I put in a pale and tentative-looking object into the oven and it emerges as a golden-brown and delicious product.  There are few things as satisfying as the pow of hot, scented air that hits my face when I pry open the oven door for a peek at how the food's progressing.

Baking is slightly less satisfying during the summer, when so many different attempts are made at keeping the house cool.  I've heard good things about grilled pizza and hope to try that out soon-- maybe this weekend.  But I'm definitely going to continue baking throughout the year; maybe I'll get daring enough to make my own baked good recipe.

I take it all back, I do not hate summer

I had a kiwi for dessert today and ohmygoodnessitwasdelicious.  I didn't feel like eating it with the peel this time around, and as I was peeling it I had its green juice dribble down from my wrist to my elbow.  Oh how I was tempted to like it! But, as we all know, it is impossible to like your own elbow.  Okay, maybe unless you're Gene Simmons.  Mmh, but it took more time to peel than to eat; I must've finished it in three bites. For most of this year a great bulk of my fruit consumption was in the form of canned peaches-- which I love-- and now finally, FINALLY there's an abundance of fresh fruit to be had.  And farmer's markets, with fresh local produce; ah, it'll be nice to eat a tomato that actually tastes like one rather than just simply looking the part and offering very little excitement for my taste buds.

Yesterday I made pizza dough (I've been really into baking lately) and had to make the very difficult decision of figuring out what to do with it.  Make pizza? Or focaccia, as I did last week? Or prepare it to stuff, roll and bake tomorrow morning as sticky buns? Oh, the difficult decisions that I am faced with in the summertime...

Bun in the oven?

That phrase absolutely tickles me, to say that a woman has a "bun in the oven" if she's pregnant.  It leads to some funny imagery, as recounted by the woman at the 1:16 mark:


Reminds me of another food-pregnancy analogy made by one of my heroines, the incomparable Carrie Fisher:
Someone's summered in my stomach
Somene's fallen through my legs,
To make an infant omelet,
Simply scramble sperm and eggs
- from her book "Wishful Drinking"

What is it about babies and edibility?  More than once I've found myself thinking "That baby is so cute that I want to eat it!"  Wh do I feel that way? I don't even eat meat, or literally wish to consume infants and yet this phrasee is the most apt one for the way I sometimes feel.  And cannabalism is generallly frowned upon, and maltreatment of babies-- born and unborn (fetus'? fetuses? fetii?)-- is similarly discouraged, to say the least.

The History of a Zucchini

(Image taken from delish.com)

This post is a bit of a cop out, I know. It's an unworthy homage of "The History of a Squash", an article written by the character Beth (as Tracey Tupman) for "The Pickwick Portfolio", from the book Little Women. Recipe with at the end.)

Once upon a time a cook went to market in search of ingredients she would use to make supper. Among the items she carried home with her were two large zucchinis. One she chopped up and put in a savory vegetable stew; the other she sliced into matchstick-sized pieces and set aside. She stirred freshly-creamed butter with sugar, then added one fresh chicken egg and gradually added flour and oats to the mixture. In went the sliced zucchini and a handful of nuts. The mixture was then carefully spooned onto a baking pan and went into the oven until the heavenly scent wafted into the kitchen and the entire household. That night the stew and cookies were enjoyed by the household for which the cook worked. No one guessed that the same ingredient was used in both recipes.

* * * * *
Kitchen Sink cookies (adapted from the recipe for Quaker Oats' "Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies" and Momofuku's Compost Cookies.)

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 sticks of butter
2/3 cup of brown sugar (light or dark brown, doesn't matter too much)
1/3 cup of granulated (white) sugar
2 large eggs

1 1/2 cups of flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg (optional)
2-3 cups of oats
Any combination of the following ingredients that add up to 2 1/2 cups:
dried cranberries, raisins, chocolate chips, pecans, almonds, walnuts, shredded zucchini, shredded carrot, puréed peas, puréed sweet potatoes, crushed pretzels, crushed potato chips.

DIRECTIONS1. Sift second group of ingredients together.
2. Combine all ingredients in first group, adding the egg after butter and sugars have combined.
3. Gradually mix the sifted ingredients into butter-sugar-egg mixture.
4. Add optional ingredients (optional).
5. Put dry ingredients from third group into a plastic bag, add a tablespoon of flour and shake.
6. Gradually mix remaining ingredients into the dough.
7. Drop rounded tablespoons of the dough onto cookie sheets lined with parchement paper, put in oven for about 12 minutes, or until cookies are golden brown.

~
I play it sort of fast-and-loose when it comes to cooking and baking. The proportion and measurement of ingredients is much more important when it comes to baking because mistakes can't be as easily remedied. Some times I'm very careful about getting the exact amounts and following instructions to a T, but most of the time I get overzealous and tweak the recipe to my whims. Though my creations don't always turn out the way they were intended, they're usually all enjoyable. Or, at the very least, edible. I call these "kitchen sink" cookies because I like to put "everything but the kitchen sink" into the dough. It's a good way to sneak a small serving of vegetables into a dessert.