Terrifying/horrifying

One thing I find scary: watching women apply makeup on public transportation.  When it comes to eye makeup my fear is that the woman will poke herself in the eye, and with any kind of makeup I fear some kind of contamination, whether in the air or by contact.  The scariest things in the world are microscopic and deadly and can be anywhere.  Perhaps a public bathroom is only very slightly less gross than public transportation, but at least the former option not mobile.

Public Transportation Bingo!

I saw a man wearing a kilt earlier this week.  I did a classic double-take: from the waist up he was dressed like any other man, with a half-zip up black fleece sweater.  On the bottom, though, was the kilt and his stout, pale, slightly hairy legs.  This was on the train.  I didn't see any other people wearing kilts that day, or even in this month.  What are the chances of seeing a guy in a kilt on a non-holiday?  This question made me want to come up with my own version of BINGO based on the typical and the unusual people and events I've witnessed while riding public transportation:

B Be my friend?	I Icky habits	N Normal, not atypical people	G Go.	O Oh the things you can hear!
Man wearing a kilt	Person sitting next to you reeks	Tourist couple	Delay due to inclement weather	Stranger attempts to engage you in a serious conversation
Someone reading a book on an esoteric topic	Someone eats something smelly	Woman applying makeup	Delay due to police action	Uncomfortably loud and personal  conversation takes place
Person with dog too big to sit in lap	Nose-picking	Free Space!	Unexplained delay	Loud baby
Musician carrying an instrument	An uncovered sneeze	Field trip school group	Someone almost falls due to sudden jerking movement of vehicle	Can hear every word of the song someone’s listening to on headphones
Someone who has almost completed the daily crossword	Someone who leaves trash behind	Man in business suit and sneakers	People cluster around exits rather than moving all the way into the vehicle	A mumbling vehicle operator

I think I'll see how close I get to a BINGO this week, and see how well I fare for the next month.

On Halloween and being 'ethnic'

Ah, Halloween:It’s the only day on which it is socially acceptable to dress up as someone other than yourself (or a sexualized version of yourself) and ask people for free candy.  So many options to choose from, with so many pre-fabricated costumes available not just at your local party needs store but in department stores and drugstores and megamarts.  But I think the issue of who/what to be for Halloween gets a little sticky if you’re not a white person. 

“An Asian little red riding hood?”

My best friend in middle school Dorothy (not real name) gave me this question, accompanied with dubious look when I told her I was considering going as that character for one Halloween.  We were close friends and I thought we had reached the point where we could be brutally honest with each other without getting offended or personally injured, but the way she responded managed to sting me a bit.  White girls were used to sell the costumes for geishas, Pocahontases, harem girls, gypsies, flamenco dancers, and Cleopatras—why couldn’t I dress up as someone who didn’t share my ethnicity?  Did Dorothy expect me to trick-or-treat as an Oriental, because I already had the right “look”?  Actually, I think that was the year I went as Cleopatra—mostly because the costume kit was relatively inexpensive and it gave me the chance to rock some heavy black eyeliner.

It’s fun to assume another identity through a sartorial transformation, don’t get me wrong.  But it’s not fun when being “ethnic” or being a minority is thought to restrict what kind of roles you can play, even just for one night.  It’s bad enough that Hollywood often sequesters certain minority actors to certain roles.  The first thing I think of it how the (very handsome) chocolate-skinned Idris Elba was cast to play a Norse god in “Thor”.  Well, why not?  Elba himself pointed out the ridiculousness of the fact that the movie deals with Norse mythology, and that itself is stranger than his casting in his role.  Ah, but I digress; this could be a blog post itself but this topic has already been extensively covered and articulated more comprehensively than I could ever hope to accomplish. [Amazing Grace is a great children’s book on a similar topic.  The titular Grace is an African-American girl who gets the part of Peter Pan in her school play, despite the discouraging whispers of her peers that she’s black and a girl.  Thank God for “Reading Rainbow”, which is how I know about this book in the first place.] 

So, Halloween: great opportunity for people—especially white people—to  appropriate other cultures’ dress just for kicks and giggles.  This year I hope to go as the boy Russell from the movie “Up”.  When I first watched the movie it never occurred to me that his character was Asian, but I later learned that the voice actor and Russell were both Japanese.  I admit it: it’s convenient for me, an Asian person, to dress up as this character.  But another motivating factor is that I have the proper physique and this character is a boy, a young male.  Most of my peers—twenty-something year old females—will opt to dress up as something sexy and female.  I aim to do the opposite by donning garb that is the opposite of both those adjectives. 

There's a first time for everything

For the first time in my life (I think) I was misidentified as a male.  I was addressed "sir" by a woman.  I was wearing a black and grey-striped hoodie, dark blue skinny jeans (okay, fine, jeggings) and charcoal grey Converse sneakers.  Pretty typical for me, although I do "femme it up" some days and wear a more girly blouse or flats or something.  Lately I've also been wearing a little makeup-- nothing really obvious, just some foundation to cover up acne scars and a little eyebrow pencil to fill in my brows and make them more defined. 

I was mildly amused by this experience.  I hate being called "ma'am" but "sir" isn't really any better.  I wonder if this'll be a first of many, or just a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

Eyebrows!

Eyebrows-- did you raise them when you read the title of this blog post, wondering what I could possible have to say about eyebrows?  Or did they furrow, perhaps? Or maybe you just chuckled, probably inwardly, and let your eyeballs express your emotion for you by letting them roll.  Yes: eyebrows.  They are important.

Eyes may be the windows to the soul, but the eyebrows frame the eyes and are important, too, because:
- they work in concert with the eyes to express various emotions
- they help stop sweat from rolling directly down the forehead and into the eyeballs (usually)
- they are defining feature in the landscape of a face.  Groucho Marx and Brooke Shields are just two people (the first names I could instantly draw from memory) who are known in part for their distinct brows.  In the early days of the Obama administration, FLOTUS Michelle Obama was perceived has having "angry-looking eyebrows" for the way they were (and are?) very arched; I think that since then her eyebrows are not as arched or curved or sloping ( I can't figure out the most apt adjective so just choose one of those and pretend I got it right in one go).

Going back to the first listed point: considered the plasticine character Gromit, of the many "Wallace and Gromit" films, short and feature-length.  He doesn't speak at all but conveys exactly how he feels through the use of his motions, especially with his brow (singular).  Just look here:



Fantastic, yeah?  The Power of the Brow!  Often you hear or read about people raving about a celebrity's gorgeous eyes or full lips or curvaceous body but less often is there admiration given to eyebrows.  I don't regularly wear make-up but recently I've been filling in my eyebrows before going out.  Technically that counts as make-up, doesn't it... but it doesn't look like I'm wearing anything on my face (apart from my glasses, of course).  My eyebrow hairs are dark but they are sparse, so I draw short strokes wherever there are balder patches; to me the end result is noticeable and improves the balance of my face, but I wonder how much a difference it seems to other people.  It's a subtle effect, but I like the way it looks when I take the time to do it and do it properly.  I can't be bothered to alter any other facial feature on a daily basis but I do feel like it's worth giving my eyebrows some special attention, important as they are.

If the world were an enormous nudist colony...

I've never visited a clothing-optional beach, nor have I ever been to a nudist colony/community.  I'd just like to take this time to consider what it would be like if everyone in the entire world were made to not wear clothing.  Before I continue I want to acknowledge the obvious and/or silly problems with this scenario:
1) it's not warm enough everywhere to merit going about without clothing.
2) it's not practical/sanitary to go about without clothing, especially when performing certain tasks such as operating machinery or cooking/baking or jogging, etc.
3) you can't make everyone go clothesless.  And Fashion Industry Is Powerful.

Having gotten those three broad categories of concern out of the way, here are some of the hypothetical beneefits of my aforementioned scenario:
1) there would be less sexual harassment and rape (the reasoning behind this is that, in many instances, rapists claim that the person/people they raped were "asking for it" due to the way s/he dressed)
2) pornography, as commonly defined today, wouldn't exist
3) there would be more body acceptance and acknowledgement of what the human anatomy looks like without any non-surgical enhancement
4) the world would be more conscious/concerned about cleanliness
5) you get the point?

This is where I would try to make some transition into the argument for letting women walk around topless, just as men are allowed to walk about in public without shirts on.  But that is a topic for another day.  And this topic would easily transition to the tangentially related issue of bras; alas, a subject for yet another separate post.

A woman's full face maintenance and makeup

Forehead
- foundation
- loose/pressed powder
- bronzer

Eyebrows
- hairs waxed or shaved or trimmed or tweezed
- filled in with eyebrow pencil

Eyelid
- eyeshadow
- eyeliner

Eyelashes
- curled
- coated with mascara

Under eye area
- concealer
- loose/translucent powder

Cheeks
- foundation
- blush
- bronzer
- highlighter
- loose/pressed powder

Nose
- foundation
- loose/pressed powder
- bronzer

Under nose area
- hairs tweezed or waxed or bleached
- foundation
- loose/pressed powder

Lips
- lipstick
- lip balm/lip gloss

Chin
- hairs tweezed or waxed or bleached
- foundation
- bronzer
- loose/pressed powder

Total time: 15 minutes?
Total money spent: A lot.


I don't mean to pass judgement on women who go through this entire routine.  I don't care enough about my appearance to go through all these processes but I do employ many of them regularly.

Character sketch: Doppelganger

Twice, I was mistaken for someone named Simone.  Both times it was dark out and I was walking alone across campus.  The same guy (I think he might've been Chinese) called out "Simone!" or "Hey Simone" or "How's it going Simone?".  I'd slow down a bit and as he got closer he'd realize his mistake and apologize.  Did I mention that this happened twice?

Usually I'm mistaken for someone I know-- a Korean friend or blood relative.  I wonder how closely I resemble this Simone and if she's ever been mistaken for me.  I wonder what we have in common beyond having vaguely the same appearance from afar.  I imagine that Simone is something like this:

Simone is bilingual-- she can speak English and Mandarin fluently.  She did some field hockey in high school  but wasn't a particularly notable or crucial member of the team.  She's a foodie and spends a good deal of her free time hunting down the newest great hole-in-the wall restaraunt to champion and recommend to her friends.  Her "notes" section in her planner is dedicated to memorable dishes and quick reviews of the places she's been.  She works out at least two times a week, thrice if you count shopping on the weekends.  She can never have enough pairs of jeans.  Simone doesn't ever leave the house without wearing mascara and lipgloss. She prefers cats to dogs despite owning one French terrier.  On quiet weekends she likes to paint her toenails while watching reruns of "Sex and the City" or "I Dream of Jeannie" or "Bewitched".  Her childhood dream was to grow up to be a veterinarian or marine biologist.  Simone recently left her job as a urine technician for a drug rehab clinic and is now working as a pharmacy technician and loving it.  She's secretly afraid of growing old.

Nail polish redux

13  I Shall Paint My Nails Red

Because a bit of colour is a public service.
Because I am proud of my hands.
Because it will remind me I'm a woman.
Because I will look like a survivor.
Because I can admire them in traffic jams.
Because my daughter will say ugh.
Because my lover will be surprised.
Because it is quicker than dyeing my hair.
Because it is a ten-minute moratorium
Because it is reversible.

- Carole Satyamurti


Fact:  If I've ever thought something to myself, someone else out there has probably said it before and in more succinct words than I could come up with.  I don't have a daughter or a lover but I can still empathize with everything that the poet describes, especially the second line, the fifth line, and the last line--these are the main reasons why I paint my nails.

"Because I am proud of my hands"
I have rather small hands, even for my short stature.  My thumbs are rectangular and squat, and can extend (bend) very far, as if I were born to be a hitchhiker.  My fingernails are usually clipped short.  The pads of the fingers on my left hand are ever so slightly calloused from violin and guitar playing.  I like my hands (most of the time).


"Because I can admire them in traffic jams"
Sometimes when I'm bored I like to look at my nails and just consider them, evaluate the way the color compares to my skin tone and how it looks different depending on the light.  Nail polish is a kind of make-up that I enjoy, something that is purely self-indulgent.  Face make-up is admired by other people, and if I wear it I can only appreciate it if I look in a mirror.  On the other hand, I notice my nail polish more than others do.  My favorite nail polish color is called "OPI and Apple Pie" (the brand name is OPI); it's not a typical nail polish color-- a orangey- caramel color-- and it's kind of ugly and unusual.  This is why I like it though, because it's weird and kind of looks like wood varnish gone wrong.  It's like an inside joke with myself, because I really like it and I don't care what other people think, I'll go one admiring my nails when covered up with that absurd lacquer.

"Because it is reversible"
The nail polish might start to chip in a week, but by then I'll probably be sick of that color and decide to switch it up.  I might paint a few nails a certain color and almost immediately be bored or annoyed that it comes out differently than it looks in the bottle, but it's no big deal because I can easily rub it off with nail polish remover.  Not all mistakes in life are reversible, so it's nice to be able to undo one even on the very small scale of stripping the polish of my fingernails.



* * * * *

Satyamurti, Carole. Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal times. By Neil Astley. NY, NY: Hyperion, 2002. Print.

OMGPROM

Catalyst:

1) Glee's prom episode aired on Tuesday

2) News of a senior banned from prom for his public prom proposal

3) Disney movie "Prom" came out recently (I think last week)

Along with class rank and homecoming festivities, my high school didn't have the typical tradition of electing a prom king or queen.  But this doesn't mean that there was a lack in prom-related stress; you could practically cut it with a knife and spread it like cream cheese on a bagel or some other caloric spread that was fastidiously avoided by girls who purposely bought dresses that were a little too small.

My lipgloss is poppin'!

This song makes me unspeakably happy. To me it's catchy and minimalistic in the way that Beyonce's "Single Ladies" is. On the surface it's just a song about how Lil Mama likes certain kinds of lip gloss and she blatantly praises her favorite brands. Yeah, I know, I just said "on the surface", implying that there's some depth to this song. I think Lil Mama is aware of this by the way she ends the video, saying that it's not really the lip gloss that brings all the boys to the yard but it's the way she feels when she's wearing the lip gloss. That the pigment itself doesn't do much beyond enhancing the shine and color on her lips, but that it's the cosmetic equivalent of lucky underwear and the supposed magic powers that come with wearing it. In past musings I mentioned how I feel like I can hide behind glasses and that they offer a sort of protection. Lip gloss works the same way, you could say.



Confession: I was inspired to write this post when as I was rushing to get ready this morning I put on some lip gloss and instantly felt happier and more confident. I'm not kidding, I really like the lip gloss I'm wearing, and it's poppin'!

On glasses, contacts, the way I see the world, part II

Two days ago I wore contact lenses and decided to get a closer look at my face. I don't generally spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, much less inspecting my features. I said before that the prescription on my glasses is slightly stronger than that of my contact lenses, but wearing contacts feels like seeing the world in HD. I could see every hair, every pore and suddenly I was reminded of all those makeup commercials. I suddenly felt compelled to put on a little makeup. (I guess this post isn't as aptly titled as I'd envisioned. Eh.)

Like I said before, my glasses take up much of my face and is probably a big part of how I am recognized: "that short Asian chick with the glasses" and etc. Without them on my face looked bare and felt like it was lacking something. If I put some makeup on I wouldn't feel so naked.

So with my contacts in and face made up I not only (felt like I) looked like a different person but I started to feel like a version of me from a parallel universe. My actions and reactions felt subdued and I didn't feel like my slightly bubbly/bumbling self anymore. In a literal sense the way I saw the world changed, but the way the world saw me was probably markedly different.


Note: I probably didn't need to dedicate a "part II" to these rambling thoughts. Yesterday I felt like I had a lot more to say, but I've lost some steam, lost track of what exactly I was thinking.