42253

September just started and it's only begun to feel like autumn outside.  Christmas is a long way away, right? Well it's around this time of year that my ballet school would hold auditions for roles in the second most famous ballet of all time: The Nutcracker.  In my nine-ish years of ballet I auditioned three times, and thrice I was cast in a different role of this production.  But this post will focus on just one audition process.

42253 was the number I was given to pin to my leotard, the way runners have bibs in races.  The 4 was for my level, the two 2s the class number, and 53 for my height.  We young dancers were made to audition by level and lined up in order of height.  Our judges were high level ballet teachers and the choreographer and his/her assistant, and we were all terrified of them. They never smiled, and sometimes would converse with each other behind their hands and point to a girl and make notes.  In my mind's eye they are all white, an even balance of male and female, all dressed in form-fitting black clothes, and carrying themselves like dancers even as they were sitting in their chairs.  Of course I was nervous.

Also, that year, I missed my audition time.  I don't know whether the blame lies with me or my mother, who was to chaperone me that day, but I arrived while my peers were auditioning.  Luckily it wasn't as big a deal as I thought it to be and they let me go in with the level 3 girls.  Oh, but that still left me shaking like a leaf when I entered.  Each level wore a different leotard; level 3 was forest green and level 4 navy blue, which are both pretty dark hues, but I definitely stuck out and it was obvious that I wasn't meant to be there.

Whatever steps we were asked to perform, I executed them to the best of my ability.  Despite my nervousness I must've done well, because I did end up receiving a callback for auditions the next day.  The role that I secured that time was the most fun out of the three I did.  This is the only audition for which I remember my ID number, because I had it for so long.  I can still hear the choreographer calling my number, and how happy and relieved I felt to hear it.  I don't think that this experience is a metaphor for my life, nor do I feel that this is a turning point or huge moment in my life, not in the least.  But just as my birthday and cell phone number are numbers I won't easily forget, so is 42253 memorable.

the end.