I don't like pine nuts

I'm not fond of the way they taste, but what really gets to me is that they look like teeth.  Like baby teeth, or rodent teeth.  I'm not particularly phobic when it comes to dentistry or teeth-- I've never liked going to see the dentist but I developed an appreciation for their work when I went to Nicaragua-- yet to me there's something inherently disturbing about thinking about eating teeth, of crunching teeth between your teeth.

Goodbye Winter

Despite the fact that snow is expected to hit the area tomorrow night I feel that winter has just about raised the white flag of surrender to spring.  I've grown to love the black down coat I bought myself in January and I'm slightly reluctant to stow it away.   After a brutally snowy winter it will be a nice change to have warm breezes coming in, I suppose, but I rather like layering up.  Today I broke out a lighter jacket with more two layers of clothing underneath and was quite satisfied with the result. 

I dislike having to dress myself during the springtime.  I know how to dress for fall, winter, and summer, but my spring wardrobe has always given me trouble.  I think it's because females are encouraged to wear skirts and lots of colorful and/or floral prints, whereas I'm terrible at wearing skirts and can't stop myself from buying lots of black clothing.  But more on that in later post.  For now I will be trying to wean myself of the black down coat and onto other pieces that effectively address the weather and my mood.

Character sketch: Gary

Gary used to be the kid I loved to hate.  In fifth grade he was The New Kid and you'd think I'd feel sympathetic toward him because it wasn't so long ago that I was a new student myself.  But he garnered none of my symphathy.

"Bajillion" is (now) a real word

Really-- according to this online dictionary.  How do I react to this news?
A) Denial
B) Anger
C) Bargaining
D) Reluctant acceptance
E) Detached amusement

Answer:

Stream of consciousness/ free-writing/ word association and...GO

Catalyst: Second series of the BBC drama Skins

This show is SOO GOOD.  Yeah it has lots of teenagers having sex, doing drugs, cutting each other with words and generally making bad decisions, but all of them are so complex and three dimensional that it's hard not to emphathize with them, to have a visceral reaction to the way they blunder through their life, striving toward acting more like Responsible Adults.

Trailer Review: The Three Musketeers 3D

This trailer reminds me of the one for the Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey, Jr.
  It doesn't have Guy Ritchie's trademark use of slo-mo but has a good amount of action scenes, fighting femme fatales, a pounding orchestral score and impeccably groomed villains.  And an American actor amidst British ones.  And something about trying to stop the end of the world.

Bloody Mary

The recipe for the Bloody Mary I made myself this afternoon:

1 tsp.  Sriracha hot sauce
1 tsp.  Cholula hot sauce
1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
1 6 oz. can of V8, chilled.

1.  Mix first three ingredients in a glass
2.  Slowly add V8 while stirring ingredients.
3.  Drink.

I put the apple cider vinegar instead of the typical lemon juice, and I didn't have the requisite celery salt or vodka around.  Even if I did I wouldn't add them; I was thoroughly satisfied with the concoction I made.

Because every American subculture deserves a show!

I read about this tv show maybe about a year ago.  I'm slightly less ambivalent about it now than I was then.  I'm curious as to how it will change people's perception of Asians-- Koreans in particular.  Later-- maybe when the show is on air-- I'll include a more detailed account of my feelings toward the show, but right now I'm too tired to be more...articulate.  Without further ado:

Waiting for the train

I think it's safe to say that most buskers, or street/subway performers, are men playing the guitar, and usually are accompanied by vocals or the panflute.  Most of them are decent musicians and provide background music that is entertaining enough to help pass the time while waiting for my train to pull onto the platform.  If I have change in my pocket I typically toss it into the busker's open instrument case; if not I'll try to at least smile or nod in appreciation.

I rewrite Alexandra Wallace's apology

In a previous post I addressed my feelings toward Alexandra Wallace's infamous video.  On March 19th she released a second apology and revealed that she would no longer attend UCLA.  Her full letter:

In an attempt to produce a humorous YouTube video, I have offended the UCLA community and the entire Asian culture. I am truly sorry for the hurtful words I said and the pain it caused to anyone who watched the video. Especially in the wake of the ongoing disaster in Japan, I would do anything to take back my insensitive words. I could write apology letters all day and night, but I know they wouldn’t erase the video from your memory, nor would they act to reverse my inappropriate action.

I made a mistake. My mistake, however, has lead to the harassment of my family, the publishing of my personal information, death threats, and being ostracized from an entire community. Accordingly, for personal safety reasons, I have chosen to no longer attend classes at UCLA.

Alexandra Wallace

This was taken from The Daily Bruin 

It's not right that she and her family have received death threats or that she is being "slut-shamed" for being a blonde and having visible cleavage in her video.  That doesn't excuse her for making racist remarks or submitting a poorly-written apology letter.  I've decided to rewrite it, tweak it so that it's a little more palatable, humble, and easy to accept as an apology.  For me, at least.

  In an attempt to express my frustration in a YouTube video I offended the UCLA community as well as communities of people who identify themselves as Asian, whether they were grew up in the United States or somewhere else.  I know that there is no such thing as one Asian culture and apologize for grouping those cultures together.  I am truly sorry for the hurtful words I said and the pain it has caused anyone who watched the video, including myself.  It was especially cruel in the wake of the ongoing disaster in Japan and I would do anything to take back my insensitive words.  My words were hypocritical and inexcusable, considering that I am a political science major and have studied patterns of oppression.  I could write hundreds of apology letters but I know that they would not erase the video from anyone's memory or reverse my inappropriate behavior; instead I ask that this one apology letter be accepted.

I made a mistake, both in being insensitive to my peers and in posting the video.  My mistake resulted in the harassment of my family, the publishing of my personal information, death threats, and being ostracized by an entire nation. I thank UCLA for acknowledging that I am protected by the First Amendment, for not misconstruing my words as hate speech, and allowing for me to reschedule my finals.  For personal safety reasons I have chosen to no longer attend classes at UCLA.
 

Updates, I guess

Currently reading: The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
Recently read: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carré; Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

TV series I currently follow: 30 Rock, Community (GIF taken from season 1), How I Met Your Mother, Glee (after finding out the general reaction to the latest episode)
Recently viewed: Dogtooth (2009), The Brothers Bloom (2008), Avatar: The Last Airbender Book 2 (tv series)

On heavy rotation: Italian opera music

Current food craving: breakfast crêpe stuffed with spinach, tomato, egg and feta (goat) cheese 

My Walden

For my seventh grade English class my peers and I were asked to find a quiet place outdoors and record our observations monthly in a nature journal, à la Henry David Thoreau.  There is a vast expanse of trees in my backyard, so I chose to do my writing from my porch.  Fast forward a few years to when I went out with my best friend to walk her dog.  She showed me her Walden spot, and since then I've sort of adopted it as my own reflection place.

Movie Review Haiku: Dogtooth

Playful, subversive

This sparse indie film left me

Breathless and speechless

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Two Truths and a Lie: The Matthew Edition

I could easily waste solid chunks of time on the Internet by looking at pictures of Matthew:
1.  McCoughnahey with his shirt off
2.  Bomer fully-clothed
3.  Thewlis as the wizard Professor Lupin

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Let's pretend that this post has some cohesion

It'd be fun to have a motorbike.  Or a Vespa!  But not practical.  If I had one I would've driven it today; instead I biked the mile or so as the sun was going down.  It's the first time I've gone biking all year and it was fan-tastic.  I love walking and taking time to take in my surroundings but biking is faster and a bit more fun.  I'm a little tired because I had to use different leg muscles in different days, but I'm inspired to bike more now that the weather is nicer and the snow and ice has melted.

There was a good amount of other people on the bike path when I was on it.  That's another fun thing about biking: people-watching.  Watching runners, packs of high school cross country teams, moms with babies in strollers, other bikers...okay, it's not the typical kind of people-watching because I'm moving on a bike and the amount of time spent watching one person or group is dictated both by my speed and his/hers/theirs.  And I can barely eavesdrop on people's conversations. But I still find it entertaining nonetheless. 

Every so often when I go on the bike path I come across a pair of men on rollerskates with their dogs-- sort of medium-sized dogs, I don't know what breed.  I'm always struck by how cool these men look.  They're not young yuppies, they've got to be in their sixties, with white hair and wrinkles and gruff yet warm voices.  They wear all the protective gear-- wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads-- yet they don't wear helmets, which kind of bugs me.  But they still look really cool.  They're proficient rollerbladers, able to stop and go with ease.  Maybe one day I'll stop and talk to them.

Bling bling like LED

Another music video that makes me absurdly happy for its absurdity:



This features two groups: the girl group 2ne1 (prounounced "twenty-one") and the boy group Big Bang.  I only understand about 5% of the lyrics, since that's about the percentage that's written in/with English.  Besides, most of the words are hip, slang words, the way that modern Korean teenagers use.  Stuff that definitely was not taught when I went to Korean school as a grade schooler.  Still, I think I get the gist of the song.

I hate that I love to hate this video

Yesterday I ran across this viral video several of the sites I check on a daily basis. 



My contempt for the featured ranter has subsided somewhat since the first time I watched her video.  I'm amused at the turn-around time this video took, from when it was posted to the time it was removed, copied, and made into an auto-tuned remix.  The most entertaining of the lot:



This video exasperates me on many levels:
1.  The way that YouTube's tagline (Broadcast Yourself) has been interpreted as encouragement to post these kind of rants on such a visible platform.
2.  That (racist) people like this still exist in 21st-century America.
3.  The blatant hypocrisy of what the woman says.
4.  Lack of tact in regard to an increasingly devastating effects of the earthquake(s) and tsunami in Japan.

I could go on, but I'm all sorts of tired right now.

Angry Asian Man is much more articulate, and where I got both videos.

Faking it

I haven't seen the entire movie from which these pictures are taken, but I have seen clips of the parts where the actor plays the violin.  I'm sure that each respective actor took time out to practice the instrument and look convincing, but it's really hard to fake playing the violin.  And I say this as a violinist, clarinetist and one-time percussionist. 

The Genius of Eminem

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Okay, I admit it, the title is pretty hyperbolic.  But I've just spent an inordinate amount of time analyzing his Academy Award-winning original song, and I'm reallyimpressed by all the internal rhymes in his lyrics.  I've loved this song since it came out, even though I've never seen "8 Mile"; analyzing the song like this has given me a new appreciation for Marshall Mathers' writing ability.

Julian Matthias and I: Rituals

I've developed some pre-performance rituals over the years:

1.  Before an audition or concert I eat a banana.  I've gone out of my way to get The Perfect Banana and eat one: it has to be slightly longer than the average banana and a little underripe.  I only eat a banana if I'm nervous about playing.

Cop-out post: My friend's earthquake footage

I heard about the earthquake in Japan as I was preparing breakfast.  My mind instantly went to one of my friends from high school who is currently teaching English there.  After checking Facebook I remembered that I knew one other person teaching English in Japan and was relieved to find out through his status that he was alright, that this was the first earthquake he had ever experienced, and that he was tending to a classroom full of crying children.

My high school friend has a daily vlog and just posted a video, which includes footage of the earthquake:

Scar stories: Knuckles

It happened on my wedding day.  I was to marry my Beloved, and his name was Kevin. He was planning on marrying his best friend, Avery, but I asked him first.  The ceremony was short and quaint, as it took place during recess and there were countless other activities to fit into that short period of time.  After we got married I decided that we had to be together forever, or until the end of recess, whichever one came first.  He shrugged, then ran off to where the other boys were congregated around a sewage drain and throwing sticks and rocks into it.  In my hurry I tripped and my left side beared most of the impact.  A jagged line of blood ran along the knuckles of my middle, ring and pinky fingers.  Instantly I was bawling and a teacher's aide rushed over to see what had happened; my husband only briefly looked up before resuming his work.  I decided then that the marriage was off and I would never wed again.

Re-Lent?

The Korean sausage that my mother served for lunch on Sunday isn't really a sausage, strictly speaking.  Its casing was not made of animal intestine and contained no meat but was stuffed with noodles and vegetables.  So, technically, as a vegetarian it would be okay for me to eat it, right? Well there's one thing ingredient I left out: 

Julian Matthias and I: First gig!

I think that atonality and excessive changes in time signature are requisite when it comes to composing modern orchestral works. At least that's what it's felt like in my (limited) experience when it comes to that type of music.

For my first-ever gig as a violinist I played in a chamber symphony and performed an original modern classical composition. My violin teacher's friend was working on his master's degree in composition and that concert was (part of) his master's thesis. In retrospect I feel like my violin teacher rounded up the required number of string players but one of them backed out in the last minute, and that's how I got the gig. I was definitely the youngest of all the musicians, but everyone treated me as an equal and no one gave me dirty looks for the countless mistakes I made.

We had two or three rehearsals before the concert, and everyone made mistakes. Even the conductor, who wasn't the composer. There were multiple key changes, tempo changes, switches in time signature and no easily discernable melody. It had phrases but nothing that you could easily remember and hum on your way out of the theater. It might be the single most challenging thing I've ever had to play. And yet...I had a lot of fun. I loved that I got to play an original piece with such talented people, and the composer was so earnestly thankful that we took on his composition. He gave us each of us thank you cards and a bottle of wine as a token of appreciation. Well, actually, he gave everyone else wine; I was seventeen at the time and got a gift card to The Body Shop instead, which was well and fine and I used it to buy makeup for prom. But the point is that he was so pleased that he got to hear what he wrote played by human beings and his happiness was infectious. It was a great first gig, an enjoyable little romp into the world of musicians.

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My lipgloss is poppin'!

This song makes me unspeakably happy. To me it's catchy and minimalistic in the way that Beyonce's "Single Ladies" is. On the surface it's just a song about how Lil Mama likes certain kinds of lip gloss and she blatantly praises her favorite brands. Yeah, I know, I just said "on the surface", implying that there's some depth to this song. I think Lil Mama is aware of this by the way she ends the video, saying that it's not really the lip gloss that brings all the boys to the yard but it's the way she feels when she's wearing the lip gloss. That the pigment itself doesn't do much beyond enhancing the shine and color on her lips, but that it's the cosmetic equivalent of lucky underwear and the supposed magic powers that come with wearing it. In past musings I mentioned how I feel like I can hide behind glasses and that they offer a sort of protection. Lip gloss works the same way, you could say.



Confession: I was inspired to write this post when as I was rushing to get ready this morning I put on some lip gloss and instantly felt happier and more confident. I'm not kidding, I really like the lip gloss I'm wearing, and it's poppin'!

Book Haiku & Review: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Lisbeth Salander:

Taking names and kicking butt

Don't misjudge her looks

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* * * * *


This is another one of those books that have a lot of acclaim and got pushed toward the top of the reading list because it's being adapted into a movie. I'm slightly ashamed, but not so much that I'm not going to admit this. I've heard great things about the Swedish adaptation and curious to see how the American adaptation, directed by David Fincher, compares to that version AND the original text. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, got really absorbed in the plot and characters. I love that it has a complex, kick-butt female protagonist and the feminist undercurrent throughout the book. I'm looking forward to finding time to read the two books that come after this one in the series. I feel that the title is a little bit misleading because there are essentially two main characters in the book, but still the series is centered on her and not the other person, a guy. The basic plot can be summed up as such: the two characters work on a cold case. The plot is more compelling and complex than that, but that is what it is at its core, and I loved every minute of it. Definitely worth staying up late to finish reading-- but this is coming from a person who has very little self-control when it comes to putting books down.

Approaching the end of a series

Right after I finished "Catching Fire" I went to request my library's website to request the third and final book of the Hunger Games trilogy. Mockingjay came in on Wednesday and has been sitting in my desk drawer ever since. On one hand I want to dive right in and submerge myself in the world of the book and find out what happens to the characters following the end of the last book. On the other hand I'm a bit hesitant to start reading it. I know that once I start I will have a hard time tearing myself away; the writing is so suspenseful and there's an urgency to everything the characters do. Also I feel kind of nostalgic, almost melancholy, that I've reached the end of this series and there are no more books to read.

I can't help but think back to the way I felt before, during, and after the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. My motivation for blazing through that book were twofold: I was absorbed in the story and wanted to finish it before anyone else I knew so that they couldn't spoil anything for me. I wish I had taken my time with that book, because I can't go back in time or unread the book and experience it for the first time again. I can read it over and over again and find new things but it won't be the same as seeing it with fresh eyes and that particular mindset of wondering what will happen next.

I intend to set aside time to read Mockingjay next Saturday, and hope not to rifle through its pages from beginning to end. Right now I feel a slight tugging in my brain to open that drawer and start reading today. It's okay, you can just read one chapter right now. Maaaaybe two says my Id. No, you know yourself and don't give in to your emotions says my superego/Obi-Wan Kenobi. My tired and reasonable side is winning out right now, and as long as I distract myself with Important and Time-sensitive Work I'm sure I'll be okay.



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EVEN more blathering about language!

Two Sundays ago I happened to be watching a Korean game show, and one of the questions asked was "What is the name of the website that Julian Assange created?" Although some of the contestants claimed that they followed the news and knew the answer they had a hard time articulating the right answer. Here are some of the answers they came up with:
- Weak Leaks
- Whisk List
- Wick Lisk
- Whiskey Licks (my favorite)

Often when words from the English language are put into Korean, extra syllables are added: "WikiLeaks" becomes "We-key-lee-kuh-suh". You can't make "ks" into one syllable in Korean, it's just not possible to write it like that. There's no "v" or "f" sound in Korean, so "p" is often used in place. I think Japanese shares the trait of mixing up "r" and "l"; my father told me of an instance when my grandmother misread a bus schedule and insisted that she "took a long bus" when she meant "wrong bus". I don't intend to mock the Korean language in any way, but find it curious how certain things can get lost in translation between these two languages.

Note: image above does not feature the game show I watched

Writing letters

The Letter
by Amy Lowell

Like cramped words scrawling all over
the paper
Like draggled fly's legs.
What can you tell of the flaring moon
Through the oak leaves?
Or of my uncertain window and the
bare floor

Spattered with moonlight?
Your silly quirks and twists have nothing
in them
Of blossoming hawthorns,
And this paper is dull, crisp, smooth,
virgin of loveliness
Beneath my hand.

I am tired, Beloved, of chafing my heart
against
The want of you;
Of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
And I scald alone, here, under the fire
Of the great moon.

* * * * *

Another one of my favorite poems. I found it when I was looking for poems written by women not named Emily Dickenson or Elizabeth Barrett Browning for my creative writing class in high school. I do have an anthology of poems but I don't regularly read poetry.

I like writing letters. I write regularly to three friends, even I live within driving distance of all of them and have their cell phone numbers and email addresses. I handwrite all my letters because I like to imbue my words with, well, my handwriting. I try my best to keep my writing legible but I make no attempts to hide it when I'm really excited about what I write. Letter-writing is my way of documenting my rambly, tangential monologues for the enjoyment of one particular person.

Yes, so basically my approach is very similar to what I do in these daily blogposts. Yet another illuminating post ...

Everything Old is New Again

Upcoming movie adaptation/sequel/reboot releases, off the top of my head:

The Avengers
Green Lantern
The Amazing Spider-man
Thor
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: On Stranger Tides
The Dark Knight Rises
Untitled Superman Reboot
X-Men: First Class
Captain America
Transformers 3: The Dark of the Moon
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

That's eleven movies. I didn't look any of them up but literally wrote them down as they came to me. Granted, I read a lot of film news, but still this a pretty sizable list of movies that are based off existing material. I'm not commenting on the potential quality of the films but the mere fact that there are so many non-original stories that are being developed into movies.

I'm sure I've stated before that some of my favorite movies are book adaptations. And generally I like comic book and graphic novel movie adaptations. They're modern day myths that feature comfortingly familiar archetypes, and Hollywood is forever taking an old concept and putting a modern twist on it. History repeats itself and follows a path like a spring or spiral: going forward yet making revolutions that echo events of the past...something like that; I apologize for being too lazy to write a better explanation. But these stories are as old as time and I don't entirely begrudge the fact that they're being retold again in movie form.

Oh, and I remembered a bunch of fairy tale movie adaptations:
Red Riding Hood, coming out this year with Amanda Seyfried and maybe a werewolf romance?
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which will feature Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner as the titular characters but in adult form, and (you guessed it) hunting witches
Snow White, with Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen
Jack the Giant Killer, with Nicholas Hoult as Jack

(Good God, I really should spend less time on movie-related websites.)

Like I said, I like these stories but we movie-viewers are getting absolutely deluged with them. The directors and talent behind these stories is promising, but I'm still dubious about this trend and curious as to when it will pass.

A bit on my writing process

If you get bored with nothing to do, you are not a writer.
- Guillermo del Toro


I am a big fan of Guillermo del Toro (director of Pan's Labyrinth and the Hellboy movies) and sorry to say that I don't fit his description for what it means to be a writer. As of late I've approached writing my daily post as a chore and have struggled to find a topic that I want to write about. I have a list of them but nowadays I lack motivation to put them into any kind of cohesive piece. Also I'm trying not to write so much about movies; last time I checked I had 17 blog posts that included the label "movies". I love films but I don't want it to monopolize my blog posts.


I guess my main concern is finding a balance between what I want to write and putting out something that is worth being read by someone. When I write papers for school I like to write many drafts and take a lot of time figuring out the best way to structure the paragrapsh and make smooth transitions. These posts are more like documentations of my stream of thought of that particular moment. I do very little backtracking and mostly use whatever words pop into my head. Sometimes I'll go back and find a more concise synonym for something, but if I can't I'll just find a way to reword the sentence. I get excited when I come up with a really fitting and appropriate word off the top of my head, from the vast trove of words that I've had to memorize for SAT prep. As of now, my favorite word is samovar; I like what it means and the way it sounds. Say it with me: Ssssamovaarrrrr!