Because a bit of colour is a public service.
Because I am proud of my hands.
Because it will remind me I'm a woman.
Because I will look like a survivor.
Because I can admire them in traffic jams.
Because my daughter will say ugh.
Because my lover will be surprised.
Because it is quicker than dyeing my hair.
Because it is a ten-minute moratorium
Because it is reversible.
- Carole Satyamurti
Fact: If I've ever thought something to myself, someone else out there has probably said it before and in more succinct words than I could come up with. I don't have a daughter or a lover but I can still empathize with everything that the poet describes, especially the second line, the fifth line, and the last line--these are the main reasons why I paint my nails.
"Because I am proud of my hands"
I have rather small hands, even for my short stature. My thumbs are rectangular and squat, and can extend (bend) very far, as if I were born to be a hitchhiker. My fingernails are usually clipped short. The pads of the fingers on my left hand are ever so slightly calloused from violin and guitar playing. I like my hands (most of the time).
"Because I can admire them in traffic jams"
Sometimes when I'm bored I like to look at my nails and just consider them, evaluate the way the color compares to my skin tone and how it looks different depending on the light. Nail polish is a kind of make-up that I enjoy, something that is purely self-indulgent. Face make-up is admired by other people, and if I wear it I can only appreciate it if I look in a mirror. On the other hand, I notice my nail polish more than others do. My favorite nail polish color is called "OPI and Apple Pie" (the brand name is OPI); it's not a typical nail polish color-- a orangey- caramel color-- and it's kind of ugly and unusual. This is why I like it though, because it's weird and kind of looks like wood varnish gone wrong. It's like an inside joke with myself, because I really like it and I don't care what other people think, I'll go one admiring my nails when covered up with that absurd lacquer.
"Because it is reversible"
The nail polish might start to chip in a week, but by then I'll probably be sick of that color and decide to switch it up. I might paint a few nails a certain color and almost immediately be bored or annoyed that it comes out differently than it looks in the bottle, but it's no big deal because I can easily rub it off with nail polish remover. Not all mistakes in life are reversible, so it's nice to be able to undo one even on the very small scale of stripping the polish of my fingernails.
* * * * *
Satyamurti, Carole. Staying Alive: Real Poems for Unreal times. By Neil Astley. NY, NY: Hyperion, 2002. Print.
No comments:
Post a Comment